Dear Digital Diary

Dear Digital Diary,

this is what I wrote on October 14, 2023.

“I think it’s funny that you think your mind will grow as you do, but it doesn’t. I’m chronically seventeen. And I still feel as I did when I first started writing in journals just after I turned eleven.

The thing is that I don’t think it’s all bad that I feel mostly the same. It means that, at my core, I really haven’t changed much. But it’s still sad that I dislike myself like I did at 11 and that I still feel insecure about how other people think about me even though I really shouldn’t care. Most of the time I don’t show it because I’m really good at saying no. Apparently it’s a quality of mine that people wish they had. Like I take a mental health day if I need it, or I don’t go socialize if I’m not feeling it. And I do like that about myself even though I was made fun of for being an introvert. I’ve found that a lot of my insecurities have changed and, while I have new ones, the other ones don’t bother me so much anymore. I like that I’m an artist, that I know when to take a break, and that I wear what I’m comfortable in. I’ve learned to like my hips and my teeth and my eyes and my lips. Like even at one point in first or second grade I thought people would think I’m prettier if I held my mouth smaller. It just shows how insignificant everything small is. Life isn’t just about how you look.”

– Mia