Dear Digital Diary

Dear Digital Diary,

I really thought I’d have my career set up by now.

Career is a big word. An all-encompassing word that’s technically supposed to include a lengthy amount of time in which someone spent in a singular field (and received a salary, not hourly). So really, it’s not a bad thing that I’m 22 years old and don’t have my career set up. At least that’s what I tell myself, or else I will spiral.

Primarily, I believed that I had done everything I was supposed to in order to secure a career immediately after graduation. I went to college. I wrote so many words and developed migraines from staring at my computer for so long. I volunteered as a writing mentor. I graduated with a BFA in writing from a well-known and highly acclaimed art school. And, of course, I had a few odd side quests here and there where I painted sails or published poetry for digital magazines. 

Except I keep getting rejected from publishing houses. I don’t get emails back from online magazines. I can’t even get internships because they’re exclusively tailored for college students and college credit.

I can’t help thinking about what I did wrong. Or it wasn’t even what I did wrong, it’s what I didn’t do enough of.

Like maybe I should’ve done two other internships during my junior and senior years. But then I would’ve been juggling portfolio class with an internship, or personal life things that exploded during my junior year. Or maybe I should’ve stared a little longer at my laptop and pretended I loved grant writing instead of enjoying my college time with friends (or taken that extra nap). Because whatever I had done, there was always room for more. 

But it sucks when I was promised a career. It was a loose promise, like how you’re promised that you’re going to figure it all out. At the time, though, I believed it was pretty set in stone. So did all my friends. And now, here we are. Most of us are jobless.

But it’s not our fault. 

To be honest, the job market is about as unstable as I was at sixteen. An entry-level job in NYC doesn’t pay enough to afford to live there — not that it matters anyway because, even though it’s entry-level, you’d need 3+ years of experience and also a master’s degree and also maybe experience in social media.

It’s just all so bizarre. Because if I had a master’s degree and that much experience, I’m not going to apply for an entry-level position. Sort of like how I’m not applying to unpaid internships because I have a four-year bachelor’s degree. And although I could’ve focused all of my time and energy on my career during the process of obtaining my degree, I might have still ended up in the same spot I am in now. At the end of the day, it’s the luck of the draw. It’s internal hiring. It’s hiring as little people as possible to make the biggest profit.  

What I’m trying to say here is that we’ve been set up to fail.

So if you feel like you’re failing at the moment, same. But you know what? If you got up today, if you cooked a meal, if you made someone smile, if you texted a friend, if you did something nice for yourself — that’s all succeeding in and of itself. 

Your career isn’t the only thing that makes you successful or impressive. But if it’s something to chase, you’ll get there eventually no matter your pace. Like I said before, we’ll figure it out. 

As most things, success is a construct. And I have a feeling that I — and you — are exactly in the place we’re supposed to be.

– Mia